What makes a successful relationship?

I read the following:

My boyfriend and I are well matched, but I just don’t fancy him

I’m not convinced there’s enough “spark” and find myself inwardly picking apart his appearance and his unwavering devotion to me, which I find soppy and cloying.

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Most of [my ex] boyfriends were narcissistic and made me feel insecure about my own attractiveness.

Many women tend to be physically attracted to alpha type men that are physical attractive, and are definitely not attracted to the cloying soppy men. However, the alpha males are precisely the type of men that tend not to be nice people. They are precisely the type of men that will tend to treat their girlfriends badly. That creates a dilemma.

Of course, the physical attraction won't last forever -- a few months at best. The most one can hope for in a long term relationship is that you become really good friends, that you emotionally bond and love each other, even though the physical attraction has somewhat diminished.

However, if someone initially irritates you, I suspect that it's probably best not to pursue the relationship in the hope it improves; it probably won't. She should try and find someone between these two extremes.

Instinctively I would say find someone who is a nice person, but who is genuine and frank and honest. Indeed, someone like me. But there's a problem as she also complains about the way he dresses, and mentions being insecure about her own attractiveness when her boyfriends are good looking. That suggests she's wrapped up in the idea of projecting an image to the world, being an actor. That she and her boyfriend should be good looking, respectable, successful, people so that other people will look up to them and admire them.

All this is utterly antithetical to how I view the world and other people. I find these pointless charades wearisome. All this social preening and pretence. Living your life as an actor. She would find someone like me, who shuns all this, utterly bizarre and bewildering as in "WTF is this weirdo??"

So it's a difficult one for her. The good looking alpha men are unlikely to lead to long term happiness. Neither will hooking up with soppy devoted men. But there again, hooking up to people like me would explode her mind.